Not much to talk about today. Caught between my public persona and my fears on this. As the reality of the radiation and the chemo get closer, I find myself more nervous and wishing I could put it off longer, or that it would begin already. I guess the obvious truth is that there is no way around it, just straight through the middle.
Today the word spread a little further at work, and I’m having more people come up and hesitantly tell me that they are sad to hear about this, or they are grateful that I asked how they were doing when I was already going through this. I’m not sure how to handle these things. Do people assume that if you are going through something you suddenly stop caring about others? Or, put more cynically, don’t they realize that thinking about their problems just may be a little easier than thinking about your own?
Anyway, I have a headache, I’m excited to go back-country boarding tomorrow with Lev, and my brand-spankin new i-pod touch should come in the mail in the next few days. It’ll be nice to have a soundtrack to my life again. I’ll have to come up with some cancer mixes…
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