Wednesday, January 23rd 2008 - Day 5 - Post Diagnosis

So I spoke with Sean today, and it was a great call. He started out by telling me that we’ve known each other for a long time, and if this was any sort of practical joke, it wasn’t funny. When he realized it wasn’t, he almost broke down. Shortly after though, he offered to come out immediately to be there as support for tomorrows meeting with the surgeon. Just hearing those words was an amazing thing. He told me that I would be ok, and that this was just another thing that God would have to answer for. It’s really hard for me to put into words how much it meant to hear that from a friend. Especially one that is an Orthodox Jew. I’m really pretty lucky. He called back later on in the day with information on the American Ostomy Association – he’d spoken with people there, and found out as much information as he could about support groups, when and why I might have to have one, and stories of people who had lived with them for 40+ years and lived relatively normal lives. And after all this, he said “But it’s not like you’ll be needing it anyway.”

I’m sorry Sean. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when your daughter died. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you like you’re there for me now.

So tomorrow is the sit down with the surgeon, and I’ll find out all the information I can about my options. Lev gave me some great advice today about considering my options other than a permanent bag – he said to remember my quality of life, and not to let them cut as the only option. A good reminder that they cut a lot out of Chris, and it still came back. I’m not looking forward to the prep for the sit down with the surgeon – he is going to do a few examinations of his own when I go in, so I get more “fleet” fun. Nothing like getting to do an enema to really start off the day right….

Tomorrow I also need to call Guido, and I think I’m more worried about that than any other phone call – I hate putting him in that position, and I hate not being able to be there to tell him it’ll be ok. I guess it’s the big brother thing.

Some last thoughts: I think that you never really realize how many people you have that care about you until something like this. I was speaking with some of the people in HR today about this, and they both seemed to be hit pretty hard by the news. I was surprised by it, but it is nice to see. As Tara says, it’s kind of like seeing who would turn out for your funeral without the bother of having to die.

Wish me luck for tomorrow.