Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Sunday, January 27, 2008 : Day 9 Post-diagnosis

So I tried to get up at 3:15 am to go and work out this morning. It didn’t happen. I laid back down and slept till 5, then got up to go work out, watched TV instead, then realized what I was doing, went back to bed, and got up at 6:30 to make breakfast and give out food to the homeless under the viaduct at 5th south. I’ve been planning this with my trainers for a little while, it sparked from Kaylene’s idea that we should do a service project to help bring the group together, and Brad’s experience with the people who did this one. It was only Curtis, Kaylene (and 2 of her kids and their significant others), Brad and I who showed up, but it was really fun. We spent 4 hours setting up, preparing the food, cooking it, serving it, then cleaning up.

When I first arrived, I was amazed by the number of volunteers there, and all of them out at that time of the morning, ready to go. I guess I should have figured it out when I asked the first guy how long he had been coming and he said it was his first time. When I asked him why he came he replied “Drug court made me.” As it turned out, the group of us were the only non-court ordered people there. As one homeless guy told me “if you’re not here because you have to be, you need therapy.” Still, all in all, it was a fun experience. I think my repeat offers to help during the morning really threw the organizers of it – at first they really disliked me moving around offering to help, and kept telling me to get back to my station. By the end (and once they realized that I was volunteering to be there), they warmed up quite a bit.

So, 3 more days till my first meeting with the medical oncologist. I’m nervous because I’ve finally realized that this is the “honeymoon” period of the cancer. Everyone is just finding out, it’s new and everyone’s compassion is high. I’m feeling fine physically, and I haven’t had to deal with the harsh brutality/reality of the disease yet. I think this first round of chemo and the surgery will go relatively quickly, but the following recovery, chemo, and additional 6 months with the bag will probably test me in ways I have no concept of right now. I think I will take Tara’s advice and keep the cards I receive and have them to focus on in the coming months. I’ll need them down the road.

What a year this is going to be.

Song dedication: “Fuck, my Ipod died today before I could get all my mixes off it or any of the great music I downloaded from my friends” by Dov Siporin.

PS – I don’t think I can take much more bad news.

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